Tuesday, October 23, 2012

...Yes it goes on and on my friend

First, thank you all for your kind words. It really means a lot.  Love you ladies.  

You may recall me wondering if I needed another Lap/Hys surgery here  

The reason I was sort of hoping that they may find something was because last time I had my sono, prior to my surgery, they found one polyp.  Just one.  When they went in and did the surgery they found a ton of them.  They did not show up on the sono.  She was very surprised at what she found when she was in there.  She came out of the surgery and told my husband that had I never had this surgery, there is no way that I would have ever gotten pregnant.  She also said these polyps would return within six months. It's been over a year.

So my thought process during my last sono left me uncertain what to hope for.  If they find something, I will have the surgery, and maybe this will ensure I am good to go for the next transfer.  They found nothing.  Part of me was happy, because who really wants to have surgery.  

Fast forward to my WTF appointment.  The RE asked me if we wanted to go straight into another cycle.  I explained that yes, I do, but I have reservations.  I explained that given my history, and the fact that only one polyp showed up on the sono, then she found extensive polyps/endo during surgery and that I was concerned that there is something going on in there.  I also reminded her that at my baseline ultrasound they found a fibroid.  Also, they discovered that my deformed uterus is back.  (Does that actually grow back?  I swear I learn something new every single time I go to the RE).  

She took one minute, looked over my file, and said that she agrees with me 100%.  She said that in my case, I had extensive issues going on that were not detected, and she recommends moving forward with the lap/hys surgery again.  Due to issues with scheduling of the next cycle, I have surgery tomorrow.  This was not on my agenda for things to do.  I realize it's necessary, but I am not looking forward to it. 

Again, I feel like I want to throw a tantrum.  I know it's for the greater good, but I still don't want to do it.  Why couldn't this last FET have worked out and this have been done already? Why are we constantly choosing between crap and crap?  I look forward to the day when we have to make decisions about good things... like "Do you want liposuction or breast implants?"

I use my PTO on surgeries, IVF, and failed embryo transfers, because I secretly hate vacations and all things fun.


  1. Good luck with your surgery tomorrow. It's totally unfair to have to use our vacation time and sick time for IF. :-(

  2. I guess the good thing about having surgery tomorrow is that you get it over with and don't have to sit thinking about it for days on end. I hope that everything goes smoothly and that your uterus ends up squeaky clean. Sorry you have to keep dealing with all this crap. Ugh. Not fair. :( I'll be thinking about you tomorrow.

  3. That SUCKS. I'm so sorry you need another surgery. Polyps are so tricky--hate them...they're so hard to detect without an invasive procedure. Hoping everything goes very smoothly tomorrow and you heal up perfectly. I'll be thinking of you!

  4. I always assumed it was a Why the Fuck appointment. Now I know it actually means why the fail. Lol


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