Monday, October 22, 2012

This is the song that never ends...

Sorry to drag this on. I have had the craziest week ever and did not have an archive for this one.

Week one after the transfer, I was so hopeful. Things looked good. For me to say good, i avtually believed this crap worked. By Sunday, I started cramping and I just knew this did not work. I started crying on Sunday. My husband caught me. I tried to shelter him from it unsuccessfully. After talking to a few people, I realized my RE does the beta (pregnancy test) way late. 14 days past transfer. I emailed them that I knew this didn't work, and they said I could come in for an early test. They scheduled the WTF appointment (why the fail appointment for those of you fortunate enough to not know what that means).I am so grateful that they took me seriously.

She asked me how soon I could come in for the beta... I said now. I went in, took the blood draw.

There's nothing like dreading that phone call. I really don't want to talk to the woman who is calling me, telling me in the most sympathetic way possible things that I already know. I knew I was not pregnant.

Even a hatching embryo is destined for death in this uterus.

She called using that "I'm sorry" voice and I told her... Yea, I already knew that. Not pregnant.

Seriously... This is the song that never ends. Yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS!

-special thanks to Erin @ http://erinvns.wordpress.com/ and Lisa @ http://hapahopes.blogspot.com/
I feel so lucky to have met you.

24 comments:

  1. Oh no. I am so so sorry. Sending you a big hug!!!

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  2. Sad. :( I didn't realize you were archiving your failed transfer.

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  3. Thanks ladies. It sucks, but I realize I'm so fortunate to have 5 beautiful embryos left. I've been on the other side of this, with nothing to look forward to. I wish I could have live blogged. Next time will be different. These were real posts up to this one that I just didn't publish. So your reading my real thoughts as they happened.

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  4. Sending virtual hugs your way.

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  5. so disappointing, i'm so sorry. i'm glad you've got five more embryos to try with, but that doesn't make this loss any less devastating.

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    1. You sound like my RE... Are you okay?
      Me: yea, it sucks, but I'm okay
      Her: No you arent, but I like how you try to pretend.
      Me: Tears, then I call her a bully. She makes people cry.

      You are right. It certainly doesnt make this any less devastating, it just makes it a little easier to move forward.

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  6. I'm sorry it turned out this way. Sucks!

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  7. Sorry I am responding to this a little late. I am so sorry to hear that this cycle didn't work out. Ugh. :( Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts for next cycle.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! Positive thoughts are much appreciated.

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  8. I'm so sorry ... I started reading your posts released from the vault with every hope of a happy ending. I'm so sorry that it didn't come.

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  9. Oy, I feel so stupid for my responses on your other posts. I'm sorry for this cycle. I'm glad there are still 5 more embies though, even though that doesn't mean much right now I know.

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Your comments make me happy. They also make me feel like I'm
not talking to myself, which is critical for my sanity :)