August 2004: meet my husband, begin courting (I just watched Sister Wives and have wanted to say that for a week now)
May 21, 2006: engaged
June 22, 2007: married
October, 2007: something isn't right; turns out we had a honeymoon accident. A week later I had a miscarriage. Totally traumatized. Do not want to try that again any time soon. So we wait.
July 2010: stop BC, not trying, whatever happens happens
January 2011: Trying
April 2011: Very late, peeing on sticks... no confirmation that there is anything going on. Odd! After weeks of calling the OB/GYN, who will not see you unless you are pregnant or well... pregnant, they finally agree to see me. I get the run of the mill questions, how long have you been off birth control? Since July, I reply all smiley. Their look was one of shock and horror. I remember thinking that I didn’t really care, but their look told me maybe I should. They order blood work and an ultrasound to see what’s going on. I never hear back from them.
May 2011: While vacationing in
I went to the office and the doctor told me the craziest shit I had ever heard, since then I have heard much crazier shit but at the time, this was the craziest shit I had ever heard. She told me I had a deformed uterus. She then told me it can cause miscarriages, preterm labor, and second trimester miscarriages. She then told me she thinks I had a miscarriage. Hence all these issues. I never even knew a deformed uterus was an option in the game of life. I had never heard of it. She's telling me it causes miscarriages, and well here I was having miscarriages. She then referred me to the RE.
June 2011: Have routine tests at the RE.
Have HSG... the woman performing the test "Oh yes, you have deformed uterus. Now this is more on the severe side of what we typically see, but I’m sure we can fix this." No tubal blockages. Hearing the word severe being used to describe a deformed uterus from a person, who looks at this all day long, was not leaving me with a warm and fuzzy feeling.
Next was the sono: "Here's a large polyp" the tech exclaimed. "We don’t usually see anything!" Again, I’m not getting the warm and fuzzies here.
Mid cycle u/s to ensure that you ovulated: U/S confirmed that I had. Also I had some blood work. Nurse calls me to tell me I hadn’t ovulated. Now I’m confused, because you had just told me that I did yesterday. WTF... a further phone call revealed a "woops, my bad you did ovulate" After I’m having a mild heart attack.
Consult with the RE: She tells me I’m going to need surgery to remove the polyp and laparoscopy to check for endometriosis. She also tells my husband that he needs to get a SA. Well, he already deposited his sample earlier that day. So she pulled up the results... "Here's the problem right here. His count is 9 million, (motility/mobility I do not remember, but they were bad, like 1% bad). That might sound like a lot, but it's not. In a few weeks, I’m going to have him do another sample. However in my experience, numbers like this do not go up. If they do, it's not enough to significantly increase your odds of having a child naturally. I'm referring him to an urologist; there aren’t many doctors that specialize in male infertility. Regardless of what happens, my recommendation is that you proceed with IVF. I'm not telling you that you may never conceive naturally, I'm just telling you that it's statistically not likely to happen. The odds of it happening are around 0.1%."
Schedule surgery for July.
At this point, we kind of know we will need to do IVF. I knew I didn’t want to do IVF. I know this meant a tough road ahead of us. I hoped for a miracle.
July 2011: Surgery... went well. They fixed my deformed uterus. YAY! They found endometriosis on the outside of the uterus and the right ovary. She also found a uterus filled with polyps. She later told me it was the worst case she had ever seen. She also said without the surgery, there was no way I would have been able to carry a child. At the post op appointment I was expecting her to tell me that I was all cleared out. Well she did tell me that. Then she told me my husbands second results were in. SA=7 million sperm swimming in a dish all by themselves, swimming in circles with their deformed little tails, and extra large heads. It got worse. Now this just got real. She told me I should go talk to the scheduling girl about IVF. Her opinion was that we needed to do IVF in the next 6 months before the polyps started to grow back. I left that office devastated. No IUI, straight to IVF.
Hubs diagnosed with varicocele’s.
September 2011: Hubs has surgery for varicocele’s
September-October 2011: FREAK OUT. Insurance pays for none of the IVF, although we are informed that they do pay for the drugs which is a huge relief. It was open enrollment at work; I was trying to think of everything under the sun to find a way to get this covered. I tried everything. When I say everything, I mean everything. Every avenue was met with a huge brick wall. How are you going to spring such a large sum of money on someone and expect them to come up with it in 6 short months? This wasn’t even on our radar. We maxed out our FSA accounts, and kept on trucking along.
September-December 2011: Try our hardest to conceive naturally. NEGATIVES.
The end of December go to the IVF information session. Realize I have to go on Birth control immediately due to the timing of the cycle. Cry eyes out immediately, this shit is really happening, I can not believe this.
January 2012: stay in for New Years and reflect on this shitty year.
February 2012: Get a phone call from pharmacy handling our IVF meds… turns out the drugs are not covered, “How would you like to pay for the balance of $4900?” Hmmm… well let me think about this for 5 minutes and get back to you.
February 14, 2012: My hubs and I went to the fertility clinic… What did you do? We signed the contract for the IVF cycle. We chose the package with unlimited transfers until a live birth with all embryos created during that cycle. Why? Because we have bad luck. The Doctor informs me that I have a pretty low level of AMH (1.1), so she is giving me more drugs than she would give someone my age. I don’t remember her telling me anything about AMH before, however in most of my appointments I was flipping out internally.
I took 300 of Follistim every day, other things I can’t even remember right now. She told me it’s not the highest but it’s not the lowest. A few weeks later I stopped taking BC and started stimming. Every appointment… “This isn’t how we would expect someone your age, with this amount of drugs to respond” I have 2 follicles on the right ovary, and 7 on the left. I stimulated for an extra week. Egg retrieval went well, and 6 eggs fertilized. All were growing nicely until day 5. The day of the transfer we were informed that 4 stopped growing… the remaining 2 were not looking good. Transfer 2 duds. None left for freezing.
2ww, worst ever! I start looking up embryo donation. I knew this cycle didn’t work.
March 17, 2012: Blood test in the morning, drive home and wait for results, get a speeding ticket. This should have been a sign. Results= negative.
WTF appointment: discuss embryo donation vs. another cycle. RE tells me if we do another IVF cycle, she will more than double my already insanely high dose of Follistim.
April 2012: decide to move forward on embryo donation
May 2012: select embryos
May 22, 2012: officially matched to donor embryos.
June 28, 2012: Sono reveals I’m clear for FET! Started birth control June 24.
July-Sept 2012: Currently in a holding pattern… we need air
July-Sept 2012: Currently in a holding pattern… we need air
Sept 2012: started a FET cycle to transfer donor embryos.
Oct 2012: Transfer one beautiful hatching embryo. Hatching embryo meets its untimely death in the ute. BFN.
Oct WTF appt: hys/lap scheduled for Oct 24. Yay! RE suspects that polyps may be back.
Nov 1 2012: Severe dermabond glue allergy from surgery... angry incisions... this goes on and on.. polyps confirmed through pathology report. That little embryo didnt stand a chance.
Nov 11, 2012: Start Lupron and prepare for FET number 2.