Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Doctors office update

The first time I went to the RE office, I sat in the waiting room like any other doctors office waiting room.  I was reading my magazine blissfully unaware of all of the pain that surrounded me in that room.  Now, I sit in that waiting room, and I try to keep my head down and avoid eye contact.  For the most part, we all sit there in that room, sharing that same pain.  Now, I am fully aware of the sorrow that surrounds me.  Today, since it was a triple header appointment, I spent a lot of time in the waiting room. 

One couple discussed finances and how they were going to swing the costs.  Another woman was having a miscarriage and was getting further instructions.  Another woman walked in so happy, she discussed her husbands sample with the woman at the front desk... a while later I watched her getting ready leave, when the doctor who asked her to wait while he gathered a packet of information handed her an embryo donation packet.  She thanked him, and turned around lip quivering, her world had just been shattered, and I can only assume she did not get good news during her consult.   Walking in smiling about your husbands sperm and then walking out with an embryo donation packet are worlds apart.  The man walking in with the brown paper bag, well that made me smile, because we all know what's in that bag.  Then lastly, the woman who is unaware of all the pain around her. She brought, for reasons I cant begin to understand, her teenage daughter with her.  She said to her daughter, I cant believe I have a one year old and I am thinking about doing this again.  Do you think (insert childs name here) will be jealous of a baby?  Her daughter replied... yes.  Her daughter then so matter of factly explained that she never wants children and has no clue why anyone would.  I wanted to punch that kid in the face.  I also wanted to punch the woman in her face.  To her, coming to this office, meant she was going to have a baby.  It was that easy for her to mentally go there.  My husband and I can't even really think any farther into the future than praying that embryos thaw, and this wench is having playdates with her non existant embryo.  I wanted to escort her out.  YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE.  Go freestyle for a year and then come back.  Experience some heartache and get back to me.  Luckily I was called back!  I kind of hate this woman, yet I'd do anything to be her.  To never know any of this.

On to happier news....

Great news!  I have no signs of anything.  No surgery required.  I was expecting the worse, not because I want to, but because that is generally the case.  We have to get the embryos shiped to our clinic. After that, we are waiting just a little while to move forward.  Things have been insane for so long, I think the two of us could use a little time to catch our breath.   


  1. I am headed back to the RE tomorrow for management of my POF not for IF reasons. Now that I have my little miracle I bring him with me to appointments but usually feel so guilty sitting in the RE waiting room with a baby on my lap. Maybe my little one can be a source or hope to onlookers?

    1. OmGosh, I dont think anyone should feel bad about bringing a child to the RE. I probably should have clarified... this was like girls night out to the gyno... except it was her 16 year old daughter posing as her best friend. The woman was having very adult conversations with her daughter and it was sort of weird. Please dont think Im a baby hater! Im not! :)

      And, I couldnt agree with you more, yes, a little one, especially a miracle would be a source of hope.

  2. ugh, the re waiting room, that is not a place i ever wish to find myself again. but, we are one of the lucky ones, we were successful and have our beautiful daughter. all the pain and memories of ttc and infertility never really go away, they get shoved off to the side a little when you finally get what you have been working so hard for, but it's always sort of just there, lurking around the corner. in any case, i hope things pan out for you, i hope those embies are nice and sticky and you get what you are hoping for, good luck.


Your comments make me happy. They also make me feel like I'm
not talking to myself, which is critical for my sanity :)